Where should I look for my reflection,
Instagram, Twitter or Facebook?
Should I look at my camera roll
The books I read
My email subscriptions
Or my desktop wallpaper?
Should I see it in the choices I made
My job, my marriage?
Or the accidents that happened in life
My friends, my old lovers, my roommates
Should I see it in my salary slip
Or in the food I order
My choice of poison
My brand of cigarettes
The color of my nail paint
The tv shows I watch
Where is my true reflection?
Certainly not in the mirror
Tainted by conventional wisdom
Should I go stand by a river
And stare in silence
Ponder in peace
About my existence?
Is my identity only my marriage
Or do I deserve my own story
Can I not have a dichotomy
Or should I pretend it doesn't exist
How do I stop a storm in my brain
Pretend I am completely sane
Do I bury my desires in the name of morality
Or do I take every chance in my one life to live
I chased your shadow when I was with you
I chased it when I was single
I can't stop chasing it until
The shadow breaks its silence
Is it a mind trick to stop thinking
Or to make the heart stop beating
Kundera said life is light
I don't want to let go
Some dead ends can lead to a golden stream
If we have the courage to dream
And break down the red brick wall
That stands so stubborn and tall
I tried fighting those questions
That's what I see in my reflections
Questions, so many questions.
