Saturday, November 28, 2015

The Cultprit is the Victim and the Victim is My Mother

Mom says; "you have to have love to give it"
And that just says it all

What if there was a machine
that manufactured love
what if you could buy it in weight
what if you could hoard it and create inflation
what if you could store it in pots
Sow it in land and grow it

What if there was abundance of love
So much love that it needn't be a trade
so much love that it would rain
if you could give it without receiving it
if you could have it without deserving it
You could weight it and it would feel light
Sow it and it would grow
What if there was as much love as the ocean

Love is the strongest currency
But i am a pauper who sold her gold
I beg from strangers
Because those familiar
Are paupers too
and begging in another bowl.

Saturday, July 11, 2015


Where should I look for my reflection, 
Instagram, Twitter or Facebook? 
Should I look at my camera roll 
The books I read 
My email subscriptions 
Or my desktop wallpaper?
Should I see it in the choices I made
My job, my marriage?
Or the accidents that happened in life 
My friends, my old lovers, my roommates 
Should I see it in my salary slip 
Or in the food I order
My choice of poison 
My brand of cigarettes
The color of my nail paint 
The tv shows I watch 
Where is my true reflection?
Certainly not in the mirror 
Tainted by conventional wisdom 
Should I go stand by a river 
And stare in silence 
Ponder in peace 
About my existence? 
Is my identity only my marriage 
Or do I deserve my own story 
Can I not have a dichotomy
Or should I pretend it doesn't exist 
How do I stop a storm in my brain 
Pretend I am completely sane 
Do I bury my desires in the name of morality 
Or do I take every chance in my one life to live 
I chased your shadow when I was with you 
I chased it when I was single
I can't stop chasing it until
The shadow breaks its silence 
Is it a mind trick to stop thinking 
Or to make the heart stop beating
Kundera said life is light 
I don't want to let go 
Some dead ends can lead to a golden stream 
If we have the courage to dream 
And break down the red brick wall 
That stands so stubborn and tall
I tried fighting those questions
That's what I see in my reflections 
Questions, so many questions.

here and now

here and now