Prologue: Psychologically, they say that sex is exactly similar to eating large amounts of chocolates. The same hormones are secreted during sex and the process of eating the cocoa bean.
Lately, I have moved to surat, this place is so boring (after having been high and definitely not dry in Bombay) that even those 27 diffused bombs failed to create any excitement in my life. I have no friends here and all the Mirabens (the lady who brings tea at my office) and Atulbhais (my autowala) have become buddies of my daily routine. But every afternoon, my mind goes into a severe silence of anguish. I feel like a billionaire brought to the streets. Even though my salary remains the same, my lifestyle is like that of a bored college professor who cannot control his noisy classroom.
Hence every afternoon, for ten minutes I disappear from my place of work. Do you know where to find me? I’ll be at the local kirana store where uncle calls me beta and hands me any chocolate I point at.
It all started with a simple Rs. 5 Kitkat. But the allure and temptation of sin was so intense that I had to go back the next day for a Rs. 10 one. That bar of kitkat was a real devil! Just like the devil it was charming, seductive and of course adorned in Red. For those ten minutes under the tin roof of Uncleji’s shop life was heaven. Sometimes it rained and at other times it was warm and sunny. This has become a ritual of my single life. Unfortunately, I am not living in New York or even Bombay. Hence I can’t just dive into an Hermes showroom or gift myself a massage at a plush spa or even have coffee with a cute guy. Hence the chocolates! Thanks to logistical support you can find them anywhere, be it Orange County, Wisteria lane or Surat.
If you are the kind of gal who likes a flamboyant boy friend who makes it impossible for you to predict what he’ll do next, Cadbury’s Fruits and nuts is the right choice for you because you don’t know which nut you’re gonna bite into next (no pun intended). If you are the kind of gal who likes a hot guy, I recommend Cadbury’s Temptation. If you want to enjoy a rough and bumpy ride pick up a Crackle! If its true love that you seek, I suggest Dairy milk. If you prefer younger men, buy a Wowie! If you are old school; just bite into a Milky bar. If you love biker boys and rock stars, 5 star is the one for you. If you seek a sophisticated and flamboyant man like Vijay Malya or Kabir Bedi; go back coz Uncleji doesn’t stock Ferroro rochers. If you are someone like me who doesn’t know what she wants yet, then taste a new flavor everyday!
But the easiest thing that would save you some money and keep your figure intact would be to go out and make friends! That’s where I am headed next. Uncleji, do you have a son, a daughter, or a pet dog maybe?