Saturday, January 2, 2010

A quarter life crisis

A bit too soon to get here, but it's a sad little, queer world when you are 20 something and don't know exactly where you belong. This is more full of surprises than the much hyped about adolescence, teenage or mid life crisis. At least, you get a warning before all of that!!

The situation here is rather simple. At office, my colleagues and therefore good friends are all people in the age group of 30 to 40, mostly married- on the other side of the hill. Incidentally because I am the branding in charge of the preschool business- Redbricks Junior, I have conveniently become a personification of the preschool mascot called 'Junior'. I am the giggling kiddo, who is always at the service of these baaps and 'heads'. At the same time, I get the 'golden opportunity' of hanging out on the other side of the hill. This includes intellectual conversations, self actualizing stories, camel cart and cycle rides as healthier option to cars, sophisticated plays and a crazy sense of workoholism and commitment. Enjoying all this, while giggling like a recently transformed adult who used to be a kid-in-a-candy-store.

After the giggling in office is over, I need my kind of recreation too. That means dancing, coffee shops, bike rides et al. Dancing vis a vis intellectual conversations on progress of the economy, cheap coffee shops vis a vis 'fine dining experiences and motor bike rides vis a vis. Honda civic drives. So, enter 'Spin Academy'- my dance classes with Aakash Karnataki. Just when I thought mera bachpan laut aaya; I realized 'dude, this isn't where I parked my car!' I find myself attracted to this adorable guy who dances amazingly well. The next day he tells me he is in 11th standard, after addressing me as 'ma'am'. After doing a stage performance with 'baccha party' I returned home.

My sis gave me a sweet assurance; “You want friends? You can hang out with my friends (batting eyelashes)”. Lovely as she is, her offer sounded even better.. Xavierites in their early 20s seemed a far better option compared to school going kiddos. Enter New Year's eve party with sis and her gang! Alas, they address me as 'Didi' but I don't get discouraged by this minor set back.

I suddenly realized that in the company of younger people, you automatically, invariably and uncontrollably start acting like a 'mother goose'. When one of them was priding herself on not owning a mobile phone I started harping a lecture on the harmful effects of electromagnetic radiations emitted by cellular phones. Just some knowledge dished out by one of my office colleagues from the other side of the hill (that is to say, the academic head who has a daughter of my age and I went out for coffee with her - not the daughter, the 'head').

Anyway, here too I found it hard to place myself. Mature or immature? Young girl or career woman? Party hopper or intellectuality seeker? Been-there-Done-that or Innocent fool? Who am I ?(at the risk of sounding like Peter Parker).

Among all these confusions, it failed to occur to me that I have the best of both worlds. The carefree random simpleton fun of growing-up life and the responsibility and commitment of a grown-up's lifestyle.. Neither of these people are my friends, I walk alone. They are momentary companions of my transcendental existence unbound by time, age and human bonds. Just as they say 'tweet is a lonely man'; hey blog is a lonely women too!


Cow-Herd said...

:) Yes yes! I get it. But dont worry, sooner or later you will find one side of the hill to stand on :)

Grasshopper said...


here and now

here and now